Apeforce

For the past week and a half I’ve been in a “Yo Momma” state of mind. 

You know, anytime someone says anything to me, the first thing my brain feeds me is a “Yo Momma” statement.  For example:

Kid 1: “Daddy, will you get me something to drink?” My brain: “Yo momma will get you something to drink!”  My mouth: “Yo mom…errr…yeah.  How about some tea?”

or

Wife: “Did you have a good day at work?”  My brain: “Yo momma had a good day at work!” My mouth: ”Yep.  Very productive.”  Wife: ”How about some sausage for dinner?” My brain: “Yo momma wants sausage for dinner!”  My mouth: “Yo momma wants sausage for dinner!…ummm…sure, that sounds good.  How about some Ranch Style Beans to go along with it?”

or

Boss: ”Have you been able to perform that research and make a determination?”  My brain: “Yo momma performs!”  My mouth”…ummm…not yet.  I’ve penciled in some time this afternoon to finalize it.”  My brain: ”Yo momma pencils in time to finalize!  OH YEAH!”

or

Bible Study leader: “So what do you guys think we can learn from friendship?”  My brain: “Yo momma learns from friendship!”  My mouth: (silent)

So you can see, common everyday communication can be very difficult and fraught with danger one is in a “Yo Momma” state of mind.  The hard part is getting over it.  It’s kind of like an earworm…you can’t get rid of it until you find a replacement.  But what is there to replace the “Yo Momma” retort?  It’s a reflex, kind of like stretching your toes when you take off your socks. 

Wish me luck.